Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Ups And Downs

The up news:
My brother is moving out!! Yay! He found himself a new place all by himself too. He's not a computer person but I showed him how to find Craig's List and he busily got to work. I mean, he didn't even have "clicking" skills and now he's navigating around all by himself. Good for him! He was impressed with all the rooms for rent in his price range. He found a nice neighborhood back in our home town (where he wanted to be) and will be learning to live with 3 strangers (3 men) in a two story home. They accepted him after the first meeting and apparently weren't phased with the lack of work history. I doubt they did a credit check either. He just flashed the $400 dollars deposit and that was all they needed from him. Hurray for sloppy leasers! This is the first time he will be living with someone that isn't family or an old friend. I hope he finds it a learning experience and I really hope he finds a J O B. Likely that won't happen until they stop giving him extensions on his unemployment checks (been over 2 years now!). Not that I'm against getting hand outs that long when you really NEED it, but a LEAST make an effort in trying to find work. Well, I won't jump on that soap box now. I'm just happy that I will, once again, have my extra bed room available and that I can stop fretfully "shushing" my son every single morning as he speaks in his louder-than-most voice (and he's a talker--which I love, most of the time) so that someone can sleep in as long as they'd like and do nothing with their day. Bitter some? Not really. Just frustrated!!!! It's such a wasted life.
Until last night I thought he'd like living somewhere else since he seemed genuinely unhappy most of the time, scowled at my son at seemingly every turn, and walked around like the world owed him something. But no. I was wrong. While speaking with my mom last week (she was sworn to secrecy but that never applies to us, lol), he mocked me "She needs her own space." in that whiny kind of voice that goes along with mocking.
Well, I think he's being ridiculous. I get to chose how to live my life in my own house and I refuse to live with a sour puss any longer. But the most pressing and important factor: he's a lousy role model for my son. And I could go on but I won't. It's not worth our time. I've decided not to tell him exactly why he needs to move and all that bugs me because I'm afraid it would just cause a big rift between us and stuff like that doesn't generally get forgotten/forgiven between adults. (OK, and I'm not good with confrontation, I confess.) We should really learn from children on getting past disagreements. I have a lot to learn too. (Hence, the neighbor across the street issue.)
On the down side:
Mark flaked again. OMG. That makes 4 times in a short row. Well, the first time we sort of cancelled on each other equally, but the next 3 times it was all him. As I wrote before, he phoned last week and then he said he would like to visit on Thursday or Friday. He still hasn't phoned. No email message. Nothing. It's so disappointing. I had such hopes since our phone conversations flow so easily. And now I'm in the same position: can't/won't call him but still sorta want to meet with him to see how a face to face meeting goes. Honestly, I really don't need friends I can't trust to do what that said they would do.
I'm just....disappointed.
And back to square one.
One advantage: something has changed within me and I think I now have more courage to try and stir up something (well, it waxes and wanes day to day) with interesting men that I happen to notice around me. Hopefully some of them are unattached and emotionally in the same place I am.
In the mean time, T still keeps picking up every dandelion seed head that he sees in his path (there are tons this time of year), blowing on it to disperse every last seed, while wishing out loud, "I wish I had a baby." He's gotten a few completely naked down to the stem and quickly checks in with me that maybe NOW he'll get his wish.....
Sweet boy.



Great to hear your brother is finally out of the house! I have to say that you were EXTREMELY patient with him! That would drive me crazy, too! How far away will he be from you now?

cmay said...

He will be about 15 minutes drive from me, and about 5 minutes drive from my parents place. But our paths don't cross unless he decides to visit my parents--which doesn't happen very often.

Billy said...

So happy to hear of your brother moving out!
And sorry about Mark.

Care said...

Woohoo on getting your house back! Hope the transition goes well for your brother and that the new living situation works out for him.

And what is up with Mark?! Sheesh, I don't get that.

Love the story about T and the dandelions - I can picture his blowing hard to send all the seeds flying. :-)

Wishing 4 One said...

yeah for having your spare room back. i really do hope it works out for your brother though.

mark is a flake, sorry. what is his deal? i think if he schedules a meeting you should cancel before he does, just to show him LOL. no i don't know, i know you were looking forward to getting together so I'm sorry he's flakin.

I think the story about T and teh dandelions is one of the most precious I have ever read, you are so lucky girl to have such an awesome little guy. xoxoxoxo

Demeter said...

Sorry to hear about your brother's life. I am sure you are happy to have your house back, but also understand the frustration of having a brother waste his life like that. You are a good mom to be concerned about good examples for your kid.
It seems Mark is really non-committal to be cancelling so many times. That is his message. Maybe he is not ready, not in the same space you are, but unwilling to tell you?

Naomi said...

I have 500+ pages I should be studying right now plus homework argh! But I took a break in an attempt to catch up w/ my fav blogs...so let me quickly say, woo hoo! You're brother is moving out...it's about time! "She needs her space" what a ginormous ass...sorry, I know he's your brother and you love him but really? Yeesh. And PetSmart guy...no chemistry then move on. You feel it or you don't. I usually give people 2-3 dates to decide for sure, but you really don't sound into him. Mark...I will say this and shut up and go back to studying...when a guy is really into you, he will do whatever to see you. Women tend to make excuses about how the guy is really busy or whatever, but no. You're smart and beautiful, I'd move on. I still blow on dandelions...tell T wishes do come true, keep trying :)