Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Mother's Day Memories

I had a FANTASTIC Mother's Day! I know it's way past, but it was note worthy and so I had to put down my memories so they're properly documented.

6:53: T wakes up, comes into my bed with me and covers me with kisses all over my face, hands and arms and wishes me Happy Mother's Day. Aww.
He could hardly wait to present me with the gifts he had ready.
He went into the back bedroom and brought out a card and a present all wrapped up, walking with the most adorable sense of proudness all over his face.
**History: my mother went out with T a few days earlier to help him prepare for Mother's Day. When at the card shop, standing in front of a gazillion cards, Mom instructed him to look for the card he wanted to get for me. He told her, quite matter of factly, "No, Oma. I'm going to pick THREE cards. Then, I'll read them and I'll pick the best one."
Oma said, "Oh, I don't know about that. Look at ALL THESE CARDS. Maybe you should read a few more to be sure you get just the right one."
T: "No Oma. Just three."
True to his word, he chose 3 cards, read them and picked the one he wanted. That's a man for ya. I would have taken at least 30 minutes to read a bunch of cards in search for the perfect one and then still waffle over which one was the one I wanted to give.

I read the card. It was the MOST AWESOME card I could have hoped to get from my dear son. Wow. Blew me away.
I don't have the card in front of me now, but I remember the words and sentiment were about how grateful he was to have a mother like me.
Gee whiz. I got all teary and he wiped the tear away and patted my arm.

Then I unwrapped the present. It was a beautiful 5 x 7 inch silver frame with a smiling picture of T inside it. It was perfect and I placed it on my bed side table. We both beamed at each other. But only for a moment, because he quickly disappeared again to get something else. I could hear him struggling in the back bedroom. Said it was heavy, but...he...could...get it.
He came around the corner of the door with 3 big yellow Gerbera daisy plants. The sight of him carrying them with his big grin above the flowers, was a sight I won't forget. So proud was he at what he'd chosen for me.

Later, we were playing catch with our mitts and a tennis ball. Out of the blue he said, "I like my life with you in it."
I told him "Oh my gosh, T. Thank you. I remember my life before you were in it and I have to say I TOTALLY like my life better with YOU in it."
We had a moment.

Big beautiful sigh.

Friday, June 18, 2010

I'm OK.

I'm so sorry to have lapsed for so long. I just felt a bit over whelmed with all the little things lately that I couldn't find the energy to write about stuff. Maybe overwhelmed is the wrong word. I can't think of a word less strong than that, but maybe you get my drift. Here's some bullets of the stuff swirling in and around my head:

  • The backyard project, getting the design done, collecting multiple bids, stressing over the cost of it all.
  • Took out an Equity Line of Credit, and got a $10,000 lump of cash to start the back yard project, but then didn't like the way it felt like a second loan and started searching for a better option.
  • Opted for refinancing my current home loan and got a much better interest rate and pulled out $35,000 for the backyard project and, hopefully something left over to get a fancy, fast new computer. Now I'll pay off the line of credit and let it sit available in case of dire need--and that better not happen.
  • Collecting all information for the refinance.
  • Ordering my big fat beautiful fountain to be place in the backyard. Just arrived today--it's SO awesome!
  • Organizing my son's 7th birthday party.
  • Stressing over the fact that no one RSVP'd. Well, one person did, but what about the other 9?? After re-doing the evite 4 times to get current email addresses and also phoning people, I find out today (party's tomorrow) there will be 9 kids, 10 adults. Whew.
  • Stressing over having one or two parties: one for the kids and one for the family. But then deciding it was too much energy AND money to have 2 parties. Decision: one party at the bowling ally (T's choice). But my sister and her family are not coming. Said, it doesn't sound like fun hanging around a bunch of 7 year olds." Wanted to opt for the "family" party and still asking me to reconsider organizing that. Don't even want to start with giving any guilt trips to her over the last 18 years of my going to all her kids parties.
  • Pain! Pain in my left hip so severe I would certainly sign up for hip replacement. Thinking it's arthritis and then I sneezed and the pain was so bad in the hip--arthritis doesn't act like that! Go back to the doctor. Get no where. Pain been bugging daily me since February. Accupuncture no help.
  • Now having pain in mid/low back like muscle spasms. Life not feeling too good. Not able to walk or do what I need to do. What now?? Motrin or Tylenol not helpful.
  • See new chiropractor, which was also a mom in my old "mom's group" when T was a baby. First visit last week.
  • Pain different a few days after the adjustment and treatment (laser, ultrasound, massage and adjustments).
  • 5 days after chiropractor visit I can barely walk due to hip pain and the bilateral back spasm has moved into one small area in my left rib cage. Can't talk well, due to pain with pressing air out of my lungs to speak.
  • Next day, doing much better. No idea why.
  • Next day, even better. Dare to day I have no pain at all. Had to call my mom and tell her because it was cause for celebration. Weird. Hopeful the chiropractor stuff is the conduit to this good fortune. I don't want the pain to go away all by itself to reappear later just because. Mysterious weirdness this pain has turned out to be so far.
  • Realized this hip/sciatic type pain has been with me on and off for the last 4 or 5 years and is the reason I stopped running and racing. I like to live in denial and just push on. It's easier. To a point. I've reached the point.
  • Rib pain is back today. Very painful with deep breathing and twisting. Was told by chiro "a rib was pushed out". She pushed it back yesterday. ^%$%&*#$!!! That hurt. Getting the feeling today that what I really have is fractured rib. Not much to be done. Just wait and heal.
  • Stressing over the cost of chiropractic. No insurance coverage for it, but regular insurance not doing anything to help with the pains or discover the cause of the pains. Got a discount for being a friend. But still. Money. I wish I had more of it.
  • Can I make my new mortgage payments and still save for vacations that I want to take next year and in years to come?? Time will tell. My vacation/fun money fund has been raked over so many times there is very little in it at present. Must work on that.
  • Infection in my eye. Specifically in the lower lid hair follicle. Someone called it a "sty". Now eye is very puffy and red/purple underneath. Like I needed something new to make me feel old. Never went to a clinic. I don't want antibiotics. Surely it will work it's way out. After a week of festering, it's looking like I'm at the end of it. Threw away old waterproof mascara I'd used a few days before the infection. It was only 3-4 years old, I think.
  • Must clean the house. Toilets need scrubbing. Who's gonna do it?? Me.
  • Had carpets and furniture steam cleaned last week. Looks SO much better. No more little boy pee and kitty hair ball/vomit stains. Carpets are so so soft now.
  • Hot water drips like a sieve under the kitchen sink. Turned off hot water unless I need to run the dishwasher--and then I'm ready with a catch bucket and towels. Will deal with this and find a plumber after the backyard stuff gets underway.
  • Drippy faucet in master bathroom. Sheesh! What IS it with the plumbing problems?? Front hose bib also leaking. Slow drip, so again, I'll put this on the back burner until I can find a reputable plumber. Hopefully it's just as easy as replacing a washer.

That's enough for now....

I hope to post soon on getting past some of the stuff sitting on my shoulders.

But I'm not complaining. I'm just listing what I'm struggling with today.