Monday, March 1, 2010

Second Date

And a second cup of coffee.
It was hastily arranged to meet at the same coffee house at lunch time today.
We had written emails on potential times to meet over the weekend, but I was dragging my feet on any particular time. Partly because I really was quite busy and it would have been a hassle to find a babysitter for the small amount of time I could spend (Mom would have stepped up but she had just spent Thursday and Friday evening over and Dad starts to grumble when it's too many days in a row spent away.). But the biggest reason was I just wasn't too "in a hurry" to see him. I wanted to but some brakes on. It seemed the more time passed since the first date, the better things felt for me towards him. When ever he sent an email though it was clear he wanted very much to see me again. Soon.

So today I met him again. We ordered our coffees and sat down on ottomans with a small table between us. Again, he body language reaffirmed he was happy to be with me. He even said a few times that he wished he could get closer to me. That was my cue to address the speed of this whole thing. I told him that I had felt like things were rolling along too quickly. That I needed to get to know him to feel more comfortable with things. He smiled (actually he never stops smiling) and said, "We can't go back. It's too late." I think he was quite happy with that. But I think I made it pretty clear that I wanted to slow it down.
He tried to explain to me how it was in Munich and the space between people and what was considered "normal" space between people is much smaller than what Americans think. I think I've come to understand that he feels reassured when he is rubbing elbows with someone. And I'm thinking, "Hey, did I say it was OK to enter my 18" of personal space?"
He also looked different in daylight (as I'm SURE I did too). His teeth need some brightening and I saw evidence of European dentistry. Duh. Of course. They're just old crowns, with a couple gold ones in the back. I am such a nit picker! Teeth are one of those things I pay attention to. Perhaps because I live in California--but I almost expect that if you had the time and money, you'd make sure your smile was bright (not NEON white but certainly not yellow). His teeth were a bit yellowed. The normal yellowing that happens as we all age--if we were all coffee drinkers. Unfortunately, with all the whitening materials out there, that "normal" is not as normal as it used to be.
I know. I'm a bitch. Uh, witch. I mean, unreasonable.
Anyway, it all went well, once again. I asked more questions about his kids and he was happy to talk about them and the time he spends with them. He says he's strict with them and thinks it's important that they know good manners and eat with knife and fork--no slouching at the dinner table and no hands in your lap while eating. That kind of "strict" OK with me--I teach my son to do the same thing. He did say he "kicked" his 13 year old when he gets out of hand. Made some sort of joke that he took many years of Tae Kwon Do and he's a better kicker than his son is. I'm not sure what to make of that. I'll reserve judgment until I know more. We also talked about scuba diving and the changes in equipement over the last few decades, and other unimportant topics.
Then it was time to go.
He asked if he could walk me to my car and once there he asked me when he could see me again--some time this week. He leaves for Colorado for work on Friday for 3 days. So we made soft plans for lunch time on Thursday. He will call/write me and pick me up from my work--or meet at an agreed place. My hair kept falling in front of my eyes with the wind. (I've been trying to grow it out--and the bangs are just at the point where they are so annoying!). When he brushed them to the side of my face, it felt nice. Like he was being appropriately affectionate. I liked that part. Then he kissed me--just a little peck. And then one more.
And that was it.
I think he got the message that I want it slower. And he seems ready to oblige.
With that, there's potential for a couple more dates.

I still want to go out with Mark though. He called last night and left a message, but we still have yet to make a date to meet.

When it rains, it pours. Even after such a long and dry drought!


Naomi said...

I am so facinated by this whole thing. First, you are hot! Accept it and move on.

Secondly, I think he's just really into you, and perhaps the non-american thing does make him act a little differently. Only you know if the ick factor is b/c you're really not that into him. Or maybe it's the voice in your head warning you something is off, or it's just a smidge of fear of the unknown. When did it all get so complicated? lol

Sounds like you're having fun! Can't wait to hear more.


VERY exciting! Have fun with it! I totally understand the teeth thing, though...that is one of the first things I look at, too! If the teeth aren't good, it's a big turn-off. Afterall, their touching YOUR mouth! Keep us updated!

cmay said...

Hot? I wish I could delude myself and pretend. I just feel old and jiggley. But I will take the compliment.
Thank you, my friends.

Yes, it IS complicated. I was watching The Bachelor last night. Same stuff I'm dealing with. I've been the girl on the pedestal where a guy felt he had to walk on egg shells and not mess up around me (more than one guy has said that...I wish I could change that aspect of myself some).
There is a certain cat and mouse aspect to it all. Sexy...but not too sexy....nice...but not too nice. Available...but not too available. And it's all got to happen in just the right timing, without actually talking about it.
I have a tentative date on Sunday with Mark.
This is getting fun!

Wishing 4 One said...

You are hot girl, accept it! Sounds like it went better this time and he got it. Now another one on Sunday, ooh this is getting good.

Jo said...

ooh, I totally get the teeth thing. No witchiness there on your part. Hm. This is interesting. I can't tell if he's really respecting the clear boundaries you've given him, or not! The important thing at this point is that you're enjoying yourself and not feeling undue pressure! Love the mixture of bachelor #2. Have fun!