Tuesday, September 29, 2009


I'm very distraught today.
My kitty cat, who had been my housemate ever since I bought my house, 14 years ago, has vanished. Through those 14 years he's been my mostly silent partner (talks to me most mornings but quiet the rest of the day and night) to cuddle with in the evenings. I'd never been a "cat person" before, (and honestly HATE the cat hair everywhere!) but when I moved on my own, I needed someone to be there with me. That was Hans (named after the Hans Brinker and the Silver Skates movie I'd watched the night before I found him at the animal shelter). He is a beautiful cat with bright blue eyes, slightly cross-eyed. A look that made him even more endearing to me. His favorite place to be was in my lap, purring and cuddling. And he was really good at getting his paws around my arms or neck to get in a better cuddle. He'd been de-clawed long ago, and so he was strictly an in-door kitty. In the last few years, I'd gotten lazy and allowed him to wander the backyard garden when he wanted to lay in the sun. A few times he got out the front door--but when he did, within a short time I would see him sitting on the window sill waiting to be let back in. I think he knew our immediate neighborhood well enough to find his way back.
Last Sunday evening I was taking out garbage from the backyard through the garage. The door was open--and I remember him wandering about. But that's the last time I saw him. He never came back home.
He has a collar with his name and ID information--but no one has called.
I have to think the worst by now. Either he got hit by a car or someone has him. But if someone has him, they would have called me by now, wouldn't they? Some co-workers have said that when cats get old or sick they just disappear and sometimes you can find them in small spaces after they've died.
I just can't imagine that happened. He seemed quite well. A little older, belly hanging a bit, thinning around the hips, but still had energy to chase fantasy mouses and bugs now and again.
I put up a Lost Cat notice on the Animal Humane Society web site, but I don't have high hopes that I'll hear anything.
I just keep pacing my home, looking in all the hiding spaces he's known to sleep in and checking several times a night for the shadow of my cat to be there on the other side of the window or door.
I hope I find him soon. I feel awful.
If he died in our home due an illness or being old, that's expected. But for him to die on his own or due to my negligence--that's hard to swallow.



Oh no! I'm sorry to hear about Hans! He was old, and your co-workers are right...cats do like to go away to die. I think, if he doesn't show up, you might have to assume that is the case. It has nothing to do with your negligence, though! You know he wouldn't have strayed far enough to get hit by a car or something. So, it was probably a "choice" thing. Still, I know it's hard to accept. We'll be thinking of you!

Billy said...

My thought was also a possibility of him wanting to find a place to die alone. I really hope this is not the case and that he is found soon.

Wishing 4 One said...

Awww.... maybe he will wander back home. My Florenzo was gone 7 days then came back. He is soooo cute and am actually almost tearing up.... let us know if he finds his way home.... poor little guy.