Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Tid-bit conversation with T

Last week we've had this come up:

T: Mom, did my dad die or something? I mean not my donor-dad or my opa (grandpa) but my real dad--did he die?

Me: You mean the man that should (or could) be living here with us like in other families?

T: Yes, that guy.

Me: No, T. He didn't die. I just haven't found him yet. But I'm trying and one day, I'll find just the right one for us.

T: Good, because I really want a dad. I really, really do.

Ouch. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.

He's asked this question twice in the last week. I'm not sure why it's suddenly so important unless he's noticed someone at school with their dad or a kid has spoken of stuff they do with their dad.

I'm trying T. I'll take a risk and date and try to find a great guy that also wants to be a dad. Man, that's tough to do. But I'll do it because you deserve it. And so do I.
It's giving me gas pains already. That's my personal reaction to stress--a bloated belly. Just what you want when you're trying to hold it in to create a better silhouette for a would-be suitor. Excuse my while I run to the bathroom....


Lara said...

As an SMC to two boys (ages 2 and 3 months) I wonder what they will ask and what I will say when they are a little bit older. I enjoy reading your blog.
Thanks for sharing!

cmay said...

Thanks Lara. I felt sure I was semi prepared with books to read together on how he was conceived and being in touch with other half sibs and their families...but when the questions come, I find myself speechless and it feels disconnected and certainly not as smooth and sure as I'd imagined I'd have those talks go. I guess we all learn as we go. And collect support and suggestions along the way. Thanks for reading my blog and introducing me to yours.