Yesterday, while driving home from day care, T says:
Mama, do we have a dad in our family? (Which he knows we don't because we've talked about this before...)
Me: No, we don't have a dad, but you have a donor-dad.
T: Well, I want a dad that lives with us. Can Uncle R be my dad then?
Me: He isn't really your dad, but you can pretend if you want. (Not, not, not the role model I'd pick out though!)
T: But how can we get a dad that lives with us?
Me: Well, I'll work on it T.
T: What about that man we see on the corner all the time (a homeless man with matted hair/beard, coated with 5-10 years of dirt and weather, thread-bare clothes, barely there duct taped shoes and seriously mentally ill)
Me: Um. No. That man is very sick and he doesn't like to talk to people. He wouldn't make a good dad.
T: We can just ask at the houses here (as he points out to the neighborhood we are driving through). We'll just ask if they have a mom and if they don't they can be my dad.
(It took me a while to figure out his point of view--if a man doesn't have a mom, then I can be the mom and then that man can be the dad in our little family).
Me: Everyone has a mom, T. When you are born, that's your mom that gave birth to you. You gotta ask if a man is single or married. Then, maybe he might want to be married to me and then he can be your dad. (Trying to keep it simple!)
T: Oh. (pensive moment) OK. I'll ask if they're single or married.
Yikes. Now, I've done it.