Catching my breath

Wow, I feel like I'm still digging out from the piles of "stuff" that goes on while I was away on vacation. I didn't have access to a computer so I just let that pile up too. I haven't even seen any of the pictures. But don't have high hopes. My camera was acting up. I'll post when I get to it. I went to Kauai with my 13 year old niece M (my sister's youngest child). Kauai is SUCH a nice place! The first day was just traveling and getting our selves situated in the resort (Grand Hyatt is NICE in Poipu). The next day we went horseback riding for 3 hours and then had lunch and swam in a waterfall fed natural pond. It was SO cool! Then we found some good beaches for snorkeling. After that we drove down back the coast in our Red Mustang convertible car to our posh resort to have a nice dinner at a recommended restaurant. As we were ordering, I looked up to see M with tears in her eyes in obvious distress. Shocked, I asked, "What's wrong??" She said nothing and just shook her head. Finally said, "I miss my mom." I was floored and flabbergasted. I felt the day was near perfect and after the FIRST day she wants her MOM! What was I going to do with the next 5 days (some of which didn't have much penciled in besides just sight seeing and making it up as we go along)? I tried to reassure her and told her she could call her mom (since that damned cell phone was attached to her hand, it wouldn't be too hard to do!) and maybe feel better. After she ordered her dinner, ate about half of it, she asked to leave and go back to the room--again in tears (we were still on the resort). I let her go, but I felt like someone had socked me in the stomach and abandoned me. I know, I know. It's not all about me....but I was at a loss of how to fix this so that the rest of the week would go well. When I arrived back at our room she was still in tears talking to her mom on the phone. The next day, I called my sister and asked what was going on. We were both surprised she was homesick since she seemed so ready emotionally and excited about the trip. I didn't want to rock anything, so the next day we just hung out at the pool side and lounged around all day. At the end of the day we had a lovely massage at the resorts spa center. It was NICE, but EXPENSIVE!!! OMG. $200 each for a 50 minute massage??! I had sticker shock chest pangs at least once a day while on Kauai. I knew it was going to cost a bit and I was ready for that, but now that I was dealing with a girl that hardly spoke to me, slept in the car when possible and kept asking when we could go back to the hotel....I wasn't in the mood to splurge. I ended up canceling the helicopter ride...$400 I didn't want to part with. At the end of everyday, I spoke with T and he was so cool about my being gone. He stayed with my parents and told me all about his adventures day by day. But by the end of the week he said, "I'm tired of being here. Can we go home now?" He's made it clear that he wants to go to Hawaii next year with me. Hands down-I'm ready for that! I spent my entire birthday (pretty much) traveling back home. And no one gave me a birthday freebie. And I asked, more than a few times, with undaunted hope that someone would take pity or help me celebrate just a little. Not even a water--which cost a whopping $2 for 12 oz. Do I sound cheap and bitter? I'm not...not really. I think. Besides, birthdays at my age don't really count anymore. Never mind how old I really am...I lie so often I've sort of forgotten.
I got back really late and T was already asleep. I snuggled up next to him (we sleep in a Queen sized bed when at my parent's place) and in the morning he said, "Mama! You're home! Yay!!" And big hugs and kisses. Every day since he's said to me "I'm so happy you're home. I love you more than infinity." And his smile is SO cute with that missing front tooth. Man, I wished I could have taken him to Kauai with me. Would have been more fun...for me. But it would have changed the focus away from the activities we could have done with M. Actually, M's recollection was pretty nice. My experience and hers are WAY different. Good thing. I overheard her talk to her mom and friends and she went on and on about the boat ride, the dolphins, swimming with turtles, the hotel, the plane...etc. Excellent. I'm really glad she had a great time. That's what I was hoping for. But I kinda wanted to feel like she liked me too, and acted a little happy that it was ME that was there with her. Oh well. 13 years old. I can remember being in Europe at 13 and not interested AT ALL in anything except dreaming about what my sister and I were going to be for Halloween that year. I'm sure we frustrated my parents too.
Also, on July 1 my brother moved in with me, as you all know. It's not disastrous but not my own private happy home either. Now, I've got clutter and boxes and less space than I used to have to put it all in. I'm planning on a garage sale in a couple weeks. I needed to do it anyway...lots of baby stuff to sell, but now it's really necessary with all my brother's things around. My thought is that he can stay 6 months to a year and then move on. We are not really compatible, but I'm finding he's an excellent cook. So that's one positive. And he payed me the rent (3 weeks late, but at least I have it). He has been unemployed for over a year and I don't see him looking for work yet. Those unemployment checks don't go on forever, do they? So I've got to help him create a resume and get his butt out the door to find work. Any work. For goodness sakes. Plus the last couple of employees won't we giving him a letter of recommendation--left on bad terms. It's going to be tough, but still doable. I've got to hand down the law and make sure he knows what I'm thinking for expectations. Some of the things he's said make me believe he thinks this is a long term arrangement. NOT! Like I needed more to deal with. See why I feel like there's a big weight on my shoulders? And not the kind where if I did a few squats my bum would start to improve. And that's another thing....Plus, not much going on with Match.com. Lots to sift through, no dates yet. And I'm not giving the time I should to write back some of the blokes who've written.
I hope you all are living happy uncomplicated lives. Let me know, so I can live vicariously.