Last Thursday, Mark phoned. It was weird to hear his voice--sounded exactly the same as I remembered him--back when he was a young teen. We talked for over an hour about all that we remembered and things that have happened over the last 20 odd years or so.
Against his parents wishes, he opted against going to college and felt his place was "out in the world, finding his own way." His parents were worried and when he didn't land a job quickly enough, his father offered him a position at his firm--as a laborer doing concrete work. His father was hoping to show him how hard that life can be and help him see how college would be the best place to put his energies. Mark said he came home and dropped down on the floor to sleep, every day that first week. But when that first pay check came, he thought "I can do this!" and decided to study for his masonry license. So that's what he does--concrete work. Plus he started his own Landscaping Maintenance business too (I think mainly the yards in his own neighborhood). He has an artistic flair as well and really likes to put his own touch onto everything he does. That I'd guessed from his ability to learn and play the piano.
He'd had several long term relationships but none that felt felt right to take it to marriage. And he's not gay. That was nice to hear! He's been a "free agent" for about 18 months now. Maybe he's ready for a new relationship...
But one thing kind of bugged me. Maybe it's just me trying not to dash any one's dreams, but when he spoke of his hopes of being a father since he was about 27 years old, that sort of gave my heart a pang. And then he told me that his parents were disappointed in not having any grandkids (his only sibling-a brother, is also childless), I felt sad for them all. Mark said that he considered adopting but knew that his parents wouldn't consider that child their "true" grandchild without any genetic tie. He feels pretty pragmatic about it and says that maybe that's the way things will be--just accept how things are and be happy for what life brings. I think that's a lovely view and I appreciate optimism, but it's apparent that his dream isn't totally dead.
If he and I were to couple-up, that dream would certainly be gone. This bod will not produce anymore babies. There's a boy here that would LOVE to have a father, but still....
I'm probably jumping the gun and making decisions for people that I have no business making. Heck, I haven't even SEEN him yet. This probably will go no further than, "Hey, it's so nice to catch up. Let's stay in touch." But then we really don't.
We made plans to see each other on Saturday, but I'd forgotten about a prior appointment, and as luck would have it, he called and left a message that Saturday would be his last sunny day to finish his yard maintenance duties before the first of five storms predicted for the week would arrive. We both copped out, for acceptable reasons. We left messages for a reschedule.
And that's yet to be arranged.
To be continued....