I had a FANTASTIC Mother's Day! I know it's way past, but it was note worthy and so I had to put down my memories so they're properly documented.
6:53: T wakes up, comes into my bed with me and covers me with kisses all over my face, hands and arms and wishes me Happy Mother's Day. Aww.
He could hardly wait to present me with the gifts he had ready.
He went into the back bedroom and brought out a card and a present all wrapped up, walking with the most adorable sense of proudness all over his face.
**History: my mother went out with T a few days earlier to help him prepare for Mother's Day. When at the card shop, standing in front of a gazillion cards, Mom instructed him to look for the card he wanted to get for me. He told her, quite matter of factly, "No, Oma. I'm going to pick THREE cards. Then, I'll read them and I'll pick the best one."
Oma said, "Oh, I don't know about that. Look at ALL THESE CARDS. Maybe you should read a few more to be sure you get just the right one."
T: "No Oma. Just three."
True to his word, he chose 3 cards, read them and picked the one he wanted. That's a man for ya. I would have taken at least 30 minutes to read a bunch of cards in search for the perfect one and then still waffle over which one was the one I wanted to give.
I read the card. It was the MOST AWESOME card I could have hoped to get from my dear son. Wow. Blew me away.
I don't have the card in front of me now, but I remember the words and sentiment were about how grateful he was to have a mother like me.
Gee whiz. I got all teary and he wiped the tear away and patted my arm.
Then I unwrapped the present. It was a beautiful 5 x 7 inch silver frame with a smiling picture of T inside it. It was perfect and I placed it on my bed side table. We both beamed at each other. But only for a moment, because he quickly disappeared again to get something else. I could hear him struggling in the back bedroom. Said it was heavy, but...he...could...get it.
He came around the corner of the door with 3 big yellow Gerbera daisy plants. The sight of him carrying them with his big grin above the flowers, was a sight I won't forget. So proud was he at what he'd chosen for me.
Later, we were playing catch with our mitts and a tennis ball. Out of the blue he said, "I like my life with you in it."
Wow.
I told him "Oh my gosh, T. Thank you. I remember my life before you were in it and I have to say I TOTALLY like my life better with YOU in it."
We had a moment.
Big beautiful sigh.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
I'm OK.
I'm so sorry to have lapsed for so long. I just felt a bit over whelmed with all the little things lately that I couldn't find the energy to write about stuff. Maybe overwhelmed is the wrong word. I can't think of a word less strong than that, but maybe you get my drift. Here's some bullets of the stuff swirling in and around my head:
- The backyard project, getting the design done, collecting multiple bids, stressing over the cost of it all.
- Took out an Equity Line of Credit, and got a $10,000 lump of cash to start the back yard project, but then didn't like the way it felt like a second loan and started searching for a better option.
- Opted for refinancing my current home loan and got a much better interest rate and pulled out $35,000 for the backyard project and, hopefully something left over to get a fancy, fast new computer. Now I'll pay off the line of credit and let it sit available in case of dire need--and that better not happen.
- Collecting all information for the refinance.
- Ordering my big fat beautiful fountain to be place in the backyard. Just arrived today--it's SO awesome!
- Organizing my son's 7th birthday party.
- Stressing over the fact that no one RSVP'd. Well, one person did, but what about the other 9?? After re-doing the evite 4 times to get current email addresses and also phoning people, I find out today (party's tomorrow) there will be 9 kids, 10 adults. Whew.
- Stressing over having one or two parties: one for the kids and one for the family. But then deciding it was too much energy AND money to have 2 parties. Decision: one party at the bowling ally (T's choice). But my sister and her family are not coming. Said, it doesn't sound like fun hanging around a bunch of 7 year olds." Wanted to opt for the "family" party and still asking me to reconsider organizing that. Don't even want to start with giving any guilt trips to her over the last 18 years of my going to all her kids parties.
- Pain! Pain in my left hip so severe I would certainly sign up for hip replacement. Thinking it's arthritis and then I sneezed and the pain was so bad in the hip--arthritis doesn't act like that! Go back to the doctor. Get no where. Pain been bugging daily me since February. Accupuncture no help.
- Now having pain in mid/low back like muscle spasms. Life not feeling too good. Not able to walk or do what I need to do. What now?? Motrin or Tylenol not helpful.
- See new chiropractor, which was also a mom in my old "mom's group" when T was a baby. First visit last week.
- Pain different a few days after the adjustment and treatment (laser, ultrasound, massage and adjustments).
- 5 days after chiropractor visit I can barely walk due to hip pain and the bilateral back spasm has moved into one small area in my left rib cage. Can't talk well, due to pain with pressing air out of my lungs to speak.
- Next day, doing much better. No idea why.
- Next day, even better. Dare to day I have no pain at all. Had to call my mom and tell her because it was cause for celebration. Weird. Hopeful the chiropractor stuff is the conduit to this good fortune. I don't want the pain to go away all by itself to reappear later just because. Mysterious weirdness this pain has turned out to be so far.
- Realized this hip/sciatic type pain has been with me on and off for the last 4 or 5 years and is the reason I stopped running and racing. I like to live in denial and just push on. It's easier. To a point. I've reached the point.
- Rib pain is back today. Very painful with deep breathing and twisting. Was told by chiro "a rib was pushed out". She pushed it back yesterday. ^%$%&*#$!!! That hurt. Getting the feeling today that what I really have is fractured rib. Not much to be done. Just wait and heal.
- Stressing over the cost of chiropractic. No insurance coverage for it, but regular insurance not doing anything to help with the pains or discover the cause of the pains. Got a discount for being a friend. But still. Money. I wish I had more of it.
- Can I make my new mortgage payments and still save for vacations that I want to take next year and in years to come?? Time will tell. My vacation/fun money fund has been raked over so many times there is very little in it at present. Must work on that.
- Infection in my eye. Specifically in the lower lid hair follicle. Someone called it a "sty". Now eye is very puffy and red/purple underneath. Like I needed something new to make me feel old. Never went to a clinic. I don't want antibiotics. Surely it will work it's way out. After a week of festering, it's looking like I'm at the end of it. Threw away old waterproof mascara I'd used a few days before the infection. It was only 3-4 years old, I think.
- Must clean the house. Toilets need scrubbing. Who's gonna do it?? Me.
- Had carpets and furniture steam cleaned last week. Looks SO much better. No more little boy pee and kitty hair ball/vomit stains. Carpets are so so soft now.
- Hot water drips like a sieve under the kitchen sink. Turned off hot water unless I need to run the dishwasher--and then I'm ready with a catch bucket and towels. Will deal with this and find a plumber after the backyard stuff gets underway.
- Drippy faucet in master bathroom. Sheesh! What IS it with the plumbing problems?? Front hose bib also leaking. Slow drip, so again, I'll put this on the back burner until I can find a reputable plumber. Hopefully it's just as easy as replacing a washer.
That's enough for now....
I hope to post soon on getting past some of the stuff sitting on my shoulders.
But I'm not complaining. I'm just listing what I'm struggling with today.
:)
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Words, Crime and Punishment
Last Saturday we went to my sister's home for a double birthday party. My nieces became 14 and 16 years old and my! How beautiful they are becoming as they a starting to resemble the adults they'll soon be.
It was a potluck style dinner party and very relaxed. The whole family showed up, but unfortunately, none of their school friends came. The 14 year old (the one that had a very bad year last year due to bullying and other issues) invited a few of her friends over a few nights earlier for a "kick it". I'd never heard of that before, but I'm old and not up on the newest lingo for anything a teenager would want to do. A "kick it" is apparently a small gathering of friends but very relaxed--just chips and dip, maybe all watch TV together. But no big "party" type thing.
But no one showed up. Ouch. So sad.
Well, actually one did show up but at 10:30PM. Come on. Is that the time to show up to a friend's house?? In my day (did I just say that?) you didn't even call past 9PM, let alone knock on the door. Somehow we've forgotten to teach the younger generation about proper social behavior. Where is Miss Manners? We need her--in grade school, middle AND high school. Stopping now. I'm feeling reeeally old.
But this family celebration went really well. The girls asked only for money and they both received just over $250 each. Not too bad a booty! But T was a bit of pain. He kept touching , poking and being a general pest to Opa (who allows it and often encourages it) and then his cousins. He tries to play with them, but they have to play the way he wants to play. Then he just gets loud and the maniacal laugh he produces doesn't help things. He would knock on the girl's door and want to be part of the action, but when you're a teenage girl, playing with an energetic 6 year old isn't what you want to do. There was no other "kids" to play with and he felt shut out. So he received a few "time outs" for being too loud and generally not listening to what I'd asked him to do.
All seemed better after J (his 9 year old cousin) showed up. Now he had a boy closer to he age to play with--although they often don't get along too well either, since he likes to pal around with the 18 year old cousin. And you know what they say...2 is company, 3 is a crowd. So T usually gets teased and made the butt of jokes or just excluded all together. It hurts to see it all. I wish they were all closer in age, but there's nothing I can do about that.
Towards the end of the evening, the guys had all congregated in the backyard around a camp-fire and the women were all in the kitchen (so typical, huh?) and my dad said I should go check things in the backyard because T was being punished for saying a bad word. Dad felt sorry for him, but didn't intervene (which would have caused all KINDS of problems), so--Thanks Dad, for that.
I went back and saw my son sitting away from the fire on the bench with a solemn look on his face. I smiled but didn't go to him right away. None of the guys said anything to me, so I waited a bit. Soon, T waved me over and started to twist his fingers in my hair as he recounted how he "forgot it was a bad word and I said a bad word and I didn't mean to, but I said it and now I have to sit here, can I get out? I told him saying bad words is not acceptable and that he'd have to stay in the Naughty Spot until Uncle Mike says he can get out.
T and I had just had this discussion 2 days ago. He has been flirting with the power of those "bad words". He'll say "jack ass" and then "But no Mama. That's just a donkey so it's OK to say that." Or "shet" (I' m not telling him how to really spell it) and "Oh Fuckey".
Whaaaaat? Whatdidyousay????
"Fuckey."
T, that's a very, very bad word (I did't tell him the root bad word but he got the message, or so I thought). You cannot say those bad words ever.
(BTW, I very rarely swear. I try to reserve it for when I reeeally need it--that way it has a nice punctuation on the feelings of the moment. And nice shock value, sometimes. )
Not the "I" word (idiot), "S" work (shup up, shit), "H" word (hell) or "F word. "Oh." But you could see that the mere power of these words was intoxicating and the potential use or accidental utterance could be very exciting.
So he said the "F" word, clear as day (according to my brother in laws). The men were shocked and he was instructed as to what a bad thing it was and T was to sit on the naughty bench until enough time had passed to make it feel like a just punishment. After a short while I heard T laughing it up in the backyard again.
Actually, I was glad that it happened. T has tons of admiration and respect for his uncles and when they say something it tends to have more effect than if I were to tell him. Maybe we won't have too many "whoops" moments with bad words in the nearer future.
We all left with full bellies and good memories.
Even T. (He recovers pretty quick.)
It was a potluck style dinner party and very relaxed. The whole family showed up, but unfortunately, none of their school friends came. The 14 year old (the one that had a very bad year last year due to bullying and other issues) invited a few of her friends over a few nights earlier for a "kick it". I'd never heard of that before, but I'm old and not up on the newest lingo for anything a teenager would want to do. A "kick it" is apparently a small gathering of friends but very relaxed--just chips and dip, maybe all watch TV together. But no big "party" type thing.
But no one showed up. Ouch. So sad.
Well, actually one did show up but at 10:30PM. Come on. Is that the time to show up to a friend's house?? In my day (did I just say that?) you didn't even call past 9PM, let alone knock on the door. Somehow we've forgotten to teach the younger generation about proper social behavior. Where is Miss Manners? We need her--in grade school, middle AND high school. Stopping now. I'm feeling reeeally old.
But this family celebration went really well. The girls asked only for money and they both received just over $250 each. Not too bad a booty! But T was a bit of pain. He kept touching , poking and being a general pest to Opa (who allows it and often encourages it) and then his cousins. He tries to play with them, but they have to play the way he wants to play. Then he just gets loud and the maniacal laugh he produces doesn't help things. He would knock on the girl's door and want to be part of the action, but when you're a teenage girl, playing with an energetic 6 year old isn't what you want to do. There was no other "kids" to play with and he felt shut out. So he received a few "time outs" for being too loud and generally not listening to what I'd asked him to do.
All seemed better after J (his 9 year old cousin) showed up. Now he had a boy closer to he age to play with--although they often don't get along too well either, since he likes to pal around with the 18 year old cousin. And you know what they say...2 is company, 3 is a crowd. So T usually gets teased and made the butt of jokes or just excluded all together. It hurts to see it all. I wish they were all closer in age, but there's nothing I can do about that.
Towards the end of the evening, the guys had all congregated in the backyard around a camp-fire and the women were all in the kitchen (so typical, huh?) and my dad said I should go check things in the backyard because T was being punished for saying a bad word. Dad felt sorry for him, but didn't intervene (which would have caused all KINDS of problems), so--Thanks Dad, for that.
I went back and saw my son sitting away from the fire on the bench with a solemn look on his face. I smiled but didn't go to him right away. None of the guys said anything to me, so I waited a bit. Soon, T waved me over and started to twist his fingers in my hair as he recounted how he "forgot it was a bad word and I said a bad word and I didn't mean to, but I said it and now I have to sit here, can I get out? I told him saying bad words is not acceptable and that he'd have to stay in the Naughty Spot until Uncle Mike says he can get out.
T and I had just had this discussion 2 days ago. He has been flirting with the power of those "bad words". He'll say "jack ass" and then "But no Mama. That's just a donkey so it's OK to say that." Or "shet" (I' m not telling him how to really spell it) and "Oh Fuckey".
Whaaaaat? Whatdidyousay????
"Fuckey."
T, that's a very, very bad word (I did't tell him the root bad word but he got the message, or so I thought). You cannot say those bad words ever.
(BTW, I very rarely swear. I try to reserve it for when I reeeally need it--that way it has a nice punctuation on the feelings of the moment. And nice shock value, sometimes. )
Not the "I" word (idiot), "S" work (shup up, shit), "H" word (hell) or "F word. "Oh." But you could see that the mere power of these words was intoxicating and the potential use or accidental utterance could be very exciting.
So he said the "F" word, clear as day (according to my brother in laws). The men were shocked and he was instructed as to what a bad thing it was and T was to sit on the naughty bench until enough time had passed to make it feel like a just punishment. After a short while I heard T laughing it up in the backyard again.
Actually, I was glad that it happened. T has tons of admiration and respect for his uncles and when they say something it tends to have more effect than if I were to tell him. Maybe we won't have too many "whoops" moments with bad words in the nearer future.
We all left with full bellies and good memories.
Even T. (He recovers pretty quick.)
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Postponed
Well, the trip to my friend's farm will be postponed a bit longer. We'd initially made soft plans for the 8th, but I have to cover a Saturday shift at work and so it will be pushed out longer. Hopefully the 15, but my sister's birthday is the 14th so there is a big chance that I'll be expected to go to her house that day for family celebrations for her. We'll see. There is a small chance that we'll do a two-fer and celebrate her birthday with a Mother's Day thing. That would be great--more time to schedule other weekend adventures.
This Saturday we're going to my other sister's home to celebrate her girls' birthdays (J turns 16 and M is 14). Their birthdays are 2 weeks apart so most of the time they suffer and celebrate it all together. This year all they want is money. Ugg. I hate giving money. It feels so impersonal. Plus I know the 14 year old will spend it on a freaking-expensive cell phone so she can continue to text 1000+ times a day to who knows who. (She's hijacked her mothers ever since hers dropped in the toilet.) I really don't like the lack of social graces in this newer generation and knowledge about how to interact with people in "real" time, face to face. (God, I sound old and out of touch.) They don't get to learn how to have a conversation, superficial or otherwise. At least that's my explanation as to why my nieces and nephews rarely attempt to converse with me when there's a family gathering or even just call on the phone and chat. Plus, I'm fearful of cyber bullying for my nieces. The 14 year old has been targeted a number of times on my*space and who knows what the subject of those texts are about. No good, most of the time, I bet. Or at least a good percentage of the time. Am I being pessimistic? Maybe. Or maybe the fact that I just saw a blurb on the Today show about a young girl who hanged herself due to mean kids bullying her with texts and what ever other cyber stuff is out there to potentially use to exploit and batter young innocents.
It all scares me so. Some kids can be so mean. What is it about the human race that allows such.....well....meanness?
We gotta connect more. Understand more. TALK more, instead of putting up a cyberwall and depersonalizing everyone out there.
Oops. Tangent.
Well, I hope to post soon on spending the day in a perfect place, playing and feeding little lambs. I want to go to an old-fashioned happy place.
This Saturday we're going to my other sister's home to celebrate her girls' birthdays (J turns 16 and M is 14). Their birthdays are 2 weeks apart so most of the time they suffer and celebrate it all together. This year all they want is money. Ugg. I hate giving money. It feels so impersonal. Plus I know the 14 year old will spend it on a freaking-expensive cell phone so she can continue to text 1000+ times a day to who knows who. (She's hijacked her mothers ever since hers dropped in the toilet.) I really don't like the lack of social graces in this newer generation and knowledge about how to interact with people in "real" time, face to face. (God, I sound old and out of touch.) They don't get to learn how to have a conversation, superficial or otherwise. At least that's my explanation as to why my nieces and nephews rarely attempt to converse with me when there's a family gathering or even just call on the phone and chat. Plus, I'm fearful of cyber bullying for my nieces. The 14 year old has been targeted a number of times on my*space and who knows what the subject of those texts are about. No good, most of the time, I bet. Or at least a good percentage of the time. Am I being pessimistic? Maybe. Or maybe the fact that I just saw a blurb on the Today show about a young girl who hanged herself due to mean kids bullying her with texts and what ever other cyber stuff is out there to potentially use to exploit and batter young innocents.
It all scares me so. Some kids can be so mean. What is it about the human race that allows such.....well....meanness?
We gotta connect more. Understand more. TALK more, instead of putting up a cyberwall and depersonalizing everyone out there.
Oops. Tangent.
Well, I hope to post soon on spending the day in a perfect place, playing and feeding little lambs. I want to go to an old-fashioned happy place.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
I'm Going To DO it!
I've decided that I have to take action and get going on exercise.
I've mulled the idea around long enough and now I'm ready.
I'm going to buy that 12 DVD series that Tony Horton puts out and get myself in shape. I hope he's as fun to watch on disc #12 as he is on disc #1.
I'll take before, during and after photos, but honestly, I don't know if I'll be brave enough to post them. We'll see.
First step: Find the web site (or wait for the info-mercial again) and order the DVDs.
If I follow the instructions and wake up extra early most of the time and put a good faith effort in, by the time we go camping at the Lake in August I'll be able to wear the swimsuit of my CHOICE! Wouldn't that be a dream?
I've mulled the idea around long enough and now I'm ready.
I'm going to buy that 12 DVD series that Tony Horton puts out and get myself in shape. I hope he's as fun to watch on disc #12 as he is on disc #1.
I'll take before, during and after photos, but honestly, I don't know if I'll be brave enough to post them. We'll see.
First step: Find the web site (or wait for the info-mercial again) and order the DVDs.
If I follow the instructions and wake up extra early most of the time and put a good faith effort in, by the time we go camping at the Lake in August I'll be able to wear the swimsuit of my CHOICE! Wouldn't that be a dream?
Friday, April 16, 2010
It goes to show you...
Things usually work out, often even better than originally planned. ;)
I phoned my friend about my being such a nitwit and forgetting to arrange my work schedule to accommodate our coming for Picnic Day. I left a message--she was, no doubt, very busy getting her house ready for the big BBQ. She phoned me back a few hours later and said, "Hey, that sounds like something I would do!" I suddenly didn't feel so stupid and like I'd found some camaraderie and even more common ground with her. Nice.
She said she was disappointed....she now has 29 of the cutest lambs ever. So we made plans for our coming over next weekend. Some of them need to be bottle fed and T will get to help. Neat-O! We won't have the UC campus events or a parade but we will have way more time to actually visit and catch up (since there is no busyness with a huge party for a bunch of people I barely know). Now I get way more face time with her. She said she would try to get her brother, his family and her parents to come over too. Tooooo perfect!! Now we just have to pray the weather stays as perfect as it is right now.
I'm loving the way this turned out.
I phoned my friend about my being such a nitwit and forgetting to arrange my work schedule to accommodate our coming for Picnic Day. I left a message--she was, no doubt, very busy getting her house ready for the big BBQ. She phoned me back a few hours later and said, "Hey, that sounds like something I would do!" I suddenly didn't feel so stupid and like I'd found some camaraderie and even more common ground with her. Nice.
She said she was disappointed....she now has 29 of the cutest lambs ever. So we made plans for our coming over next weekend. Some of them need to be bottle fed and T will get to help. Neat-O! We won't have the UC campus events or a parade but we will have way more time to actually visit and catch up (since there is no busyness with a huge party for a bunch of people I barely know). Now I get way more face time with her. She said she would try to get her brother, his family and her parents to come over too. Tooooo perfect!! Now we just have to pray the weather stays as perfect as it is right now.
I'm loving the way this turned out.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Can't get it together yet
Drat. Drat. Drat!
I totally forgot that I work this Saturday! It's April 17, the day of Picnic day at UC Davis. I've been going there just about every year since I was 2. It's kind of a parent's day for university students and their families and they show case each department with lots of cool things to do and see on campus. They also have a large veterinarian school so there are lots of animals too. Plus a super cool parade with the school band and so many enthusiastic groups from the school and those that live in and around town. The friend that I generally spend my time with used to live in Davis but now has about 20 acres outside of town and always hosts a big BBQ. It's just great for kids with a pond to swim in, animals to play with (including 9 new baby lambs this year) and lots of room to run. So many photo opportunities! For some odd reason I only get up to visit her on Picnic Day, making it especially important to get up there and catch up with my long time friend.
But no.
I totally forgot to inform my work and make the switches I could have made to get the day free to go. And now it's too late (I tried.) and so my son won't have the chance to enjoy all that there is to do up there.
I even spoke to my friend just 2 weeks ago and told her I was going to be there and was looking forward to it. UGGGGG. Now I have to call her and tell her what a nitwit I was. I'll reschedule and come up another day, but her brother won't be there (with his kids that are near the same age as T), nor any of the rest of her family (grown and away at school), not to mention, no parade and other fun stuff. But we'll still get to hang at the farm with the animals. He won't care about visiting with my friend, but that's as good as I can make it this year.
Grrrr. It won't be the same without all the rest of the kids to play with.
Other things that add to the anxiety/bad mommy feelings of this week:
1. Didn't plan any away/vacation time with T during his Spring break week. Seems like all the other families in my neighborhood remembered.
2. Forgot to bring snacks for the kids last Saturday and it was reported that the kids were so sad and HUNGRY. Ouch. But I get to redeem myself today. (Mom is bringing the snacks to the game today since I'm working--but I did remember to buy them!)
3. Forgot to go the bank at my appointed time to sign yet another paper that had to be notarized for the equity line of credit.
4. Forgot my contact lens (yes, lens--I only wear one) at my parents this morning. (Been staying at my parents part of this week so they can watch T while I work.) And forgot to bring home the gallon of milk I bought and stored in my parent's fridge. Not a big deal but adds to the list of forgetting stuff.
I wish things would go a little more smoothly. Obviously, I need a better way to organize myself. I'll get it together soon...
On a brighter side, T made me a beautiful picture yesterday and placed it on the foot of the stairs with a small chocolate (dark! my favorite!). I wish I could post a picture of it, but it had a big heart at the center, with "I love Mama", "I miss you", written all over it. It was quite colorful. And he was so proud to present it to me.
As I was putting him to bed last night (again, we chose to watch TV, this time "Minute to Win It", a new game show--he loves any game.) He really seemed to love the game show and what the contestants were doing. So it was after 9PM before he got to bed. As we were laying there, he said, "You know what Mama? I'm so lucky. Whenever Oma has to watch me and when you're late from work and she gives me a bath and then she brings me to bed at seven-sixty or seven-fifty (not worked out exactly the time stuff yet) and she reads books with me because it's not so late at night and we have time to read. I really like that."
I smiled and agreed that he sure was lucky.
But you know what I was thinking?
Two things:
1. Oh! Bad mama for assuming he wanted to do what I wanted to do: watch some lame TV show--eating up all the time we could have for book reading (and special memories for us both).
2. How cool that he really likes to read stories rather than stay up late to watch TV. Of course, I knew reading was the right thing to do for him/us but I love that he actually prefers to be with me (or Oma/Opa) and read stories together.
That makes it easy. I have to break some bad habits (TV vegetation) and spend our evenings together, by really BEING together. I can vegetate AFTER he goes to bed.
So many little ways I can improve......little things that collectively are quite big.
(I'll stop whining soon. I swear.)
I totally forgot that I work this Saturday! It's April 17, the day of Picnic day at UC Davis. I've been going there just about every year since I was 2. It's kind of a parent's day for university students and their families and they show case each department with lots of cool things to do and see on campus. They also have a large veterinarian school so there are lots of animals too. Plus a super cool parade with the school band and so many enthusiastic groups from the school and those that live in and around town. The friend that I generally spend my time with used to live in Davis but now has about 20 acres outside of town and always hosts a big BBQ. It's just great for kids with a pond to swim in, animals to play with (including 9 new baby lambs this year) and lots of room to run. So many photo opportunities! For some odd reason I only get up to visit her on Picnic Day, making it especially important to get up there and catch up with my long time friend.
But no.
I totally forgot to inform my work and make the switches I could have made to get the day free to go. And now it's too late (I tried.) and so my son won't have the chance to enjoy all that there is to do up there.
I even spoke to my friend just 2 weeks ago and told her I was going to be there and was looking forward to it. UGGGGG. Now I have to call her and tell her what a nitwit I was. I'll reschedule and come up another day, but her brother won't be there (with his kids that are near the same age as T), nor any of the rest of her family (grown and away at school), not to mention, no parade and other fun stuff. But we'll still get to hang at the farm with the animals. He won't care about visiting with my friend, but that's as good as I can make it this year.
Grrrr. It won't be the same without all the rest of the kids to play with.
Other things that add to the anxiety/bad mommy feelings of this week:
1. Didn't plan any away/vacation time with T during his Spring break week. Seems like all the other families in my neighborhood remembered.
2. Forgot to bring snacks for the kids last Saturday and it was reported that the kids were so sad and HUNGRY. Ouch. But I get to redeem myself today. (Mom is bringing the snacks to the game today since I'm working--but I did remember to buy them!)
3. Forgot to go the bank at my appointed time to sign yet another paper that had to be notarized for the equity line of credit.
4. Forgot my contact lens (yes, lens--I only wear one) at my parents this morning. (Been staying at my parents part of this week so they can watch T while I work.) And forgot to bring home the gallon of milk I bought and stored in my parent's fridge. Not a big deal but adds to the list of forgetting stuff.
I wish things would go a little more smoothly. Obviously, I need a better way to organize myself. I'll get it together soon...
On a brighter side, T made me a beautiful picture yesterday and placed it on the foot of the stairs with a small chocolate (dark! my favorite!). I wish I could post a picture of it, but it had a big heart at the center, with "I love Mama", "I miss you", written all over it. It was quite colorful. And he was so proud to present it to me.
As I was putting him to bed last night (again, we chose to watch TV, this time "Minute to Win It", a new game show--he loves any game.) He really seemed to love the game show and what the contestants were doing. So it was after 9PM before he got to bed. As we were laying there, he said, "You know what Mama? I'm so lucky. Whenever Oma has to watch me and when you're late from work and she gives me a bath and then she brings me to bed at seven-sixty or seven-fifty (not worked out exactly the time stuff yet) and she reads books with me because it's not so late at night and we have time to read. I really like that."
I smiled and agreed that he sure was lucky.
But you know what I was thinking?
Two things:
1. Oh! Bad mama for assuming he wanted to do what I wanted to do: watch some lame TV show--eating up all the time we could have for book reading (and special memories for us both).
2. How cool that he really likes to read stories rather than stay up late to watch TV. Of course, I knew reading was the right thing to do for him/us but I love that he actually prefers to be with me (or Oma/Opa) and read stories together.
That makes it easy. I have to break some bad habits (TV vegetation) and spend our evenings together, by really BEING together. I can vegetate AFTER he goes to bed.
So many little ways I can improve......little things that collectively are quite big.
(I'll stop whining soon. I swear.)
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